Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Current world economic downturn thought to be caused by Ashley Maddison data dump




 Ashley Madison website
Economists argue that the current economical downturn may not have been caused by a slowdown of the Chinese economy as previously thought but, may in fact be due to the excessive number of divorce cases which have sprung about from the Ashley Maddison data dump.

  Indeed, it would seem that the disclosure of the names of members of Ashley Maddison, a website catering to married or people or men and women in a commited relationship who want to engage in extra-marital poom-pooming, has led to a spike in divorces worldwide and has had lawyers giggling like school children all the way to the bank and the global economy on its knees. 

It now seems as though the extent of the damage has been underestimated as the use of Ashley Maddison was a fixture of the daily lives of a large number of people for a very long time and the extent to which it was a part of popular culture was misunderstood.  In some African countries Ashley Maddison has more members than Facebook and in Brazil cheating on one’s partner is called pulling an ‘Ashlelihno’. Some recently discovered caves in Congo, thought to belong to the very first men, have revealed cave paintings which mention women and men leaving their partners on the pretense that they were going to see their friend A.M.. Anthropologists and scientists have confirmed this may well be the  initials of a precursor of Ashley Maddison. As a result the extent of the crisis has been underestimated.

According to economists from the University of Bododonk .The rate of divorces is affecting the world economy in palpable ways. 

“For one it is making the workforce less productive. The recently divorced individuals are despondent, distracted and unmotivated following their divorces. This has knock on effects on their concentration levels at work and will on aggregate lead to less production worldwide. 

Furthermore, the increased spending on lawyers and on divorce proceedings will be an unexpected one-time income shock for many of these individuals. People will find themselves forced to cut back on their consumption elsewhere in order to pay the exorbitant lawyer fees. As a result, there will be a reduced demand for goods -as we have been seeing worldwide- causing companies to lay off workers particularly in China and reduce production to cut down cost and which in turn has made people poorer.

Economists are warning that it could take time for the full effect of the Ashley Maddison data dump to fully manifest itself. This is because it often takes a while for couples to decide and then take action to divorce and in many places, the law imposes separation requirements which can last several years, so potentially there could be billions more cases of divorces arriving which will be sure to sink the world economy.

“We’re f*cked,” says an economist raising his hands in the air in resignation.

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