Our current generation is often refered to as entitled , ambitious and
optimistic. We are fascinated by success. We gobble up the rags and riches
stories. We consult the forbes list , or the Sunday rich times list. We watch
the hip hop videos. Symbols of success are everywhere, and we intimately believe
that great things lie in our future.
Having big dreams is one thing, but elivering on our promise and reaching our
goals is another. Sometimes we can be so engrossed in visualising our success
that we forget to actually log in the hours of hard work and devotion necessary to achieve it.
Here are some tell-tale signs you are a disorganized day-dreamer (a
DIDDER). Because recognising you are a didder ,is the first step to actually
doing something about it.
1.
You identify
with who you want to be, never with who you are right now
One of the particularities of Didders is that they always see themselves as an unfinished project. ;That
means that they tend to never be satisfied with who they are and where they are
, now.As a result, they have a high tolerance for failure.
For Didders dreams in their heads act as an anaesthetic for the inconveniences ,
the setbacks and the stagnation they face in their daily lives.
The intimate belief that tomorrow
will always be better than yesterday gives everyone hope but for the Didder it
is taken to the extreme and can be self-destructive tendency. It insulates them
from the helpful natural wake up calls that are criticism, regression,
stagnation and a lack of concrete results. Didders will grow obsessed by
something and can toil away at it for a very long time despite getting very
little out of it , where most other people would cut their losses and move onto
something else. They are so convinced that they will inevitably succeed at whatever
they are doing that they change course
only when it is too late.
2.
You are
terrible at keeping in touch
Didders have a low opinion of themselves because they consider themselves
on a path to becoming who they truly want to be. They see themselves as a work
in progress.They also tend to be very demanding of themselves.
The problem is that they then think this flawed perception of themselves is shared by their friends. They
have an exaggerated perception of how their friends will react to what their
own setbacks. Unless they are doing something extraordinary then they would
rather not get in touch with their friends.
They have a conception of friendship where they must necessarily be the
shining successes that they are in their minds in order to justify their
friendships. And when life does not go according to plan they begin to drop out
of sight, especially when they are not in the same geographical zones.
A didder lets his friendships deteriorate thinking that once they are
successful and rich and once their life is all sorted out they will take the time to mend bridges and patch
things up. ‘Their friends will understand’ , is how they would reason. But
chances are they won’t.
There are many problems with this way of thinking.
The first is that success is not some clear threshold , or singular event , easily distinguishable from
all others leading up to it where,once
it is achieved, all your troubles magically melt away. For most people (barring
lottery winners, sports players winning huge million dollar contracts or winning
an election) it is an incremental process , a nuanced thing.
So where is the cut off point when do you decide , now I make time and work
on my friendships?
Secondly even when you do succeed, you often
become busier. You have more responsabilities , less time , even more work to
do….
Also , with added success comes new benchmarks and new and bigger objectives which will require even
more of your time. These new objectives will require more sacrifices. and
effort in achieving them. Founders and
successful business menwho have made it big often then have to focus on staying
at the top of their game , and making sure their enterprises have longevity.
They have to think about their expansion plans, they have to think about their
competition. If anything, they are even more worked now that they are
successful.. Sothe idea that you will succeed and then see your problems melt
away and have loads of time to spend making up with friends is unrealistic. Billionaires
might have time on their hands to take a step bck and do what they want but for
the vast majority of us there will be no such thing as a period of time when we
have a lot of ffree time on our hands –unless we choose to make that time.
Friendships are about making time, and making an effort. You have to be
able to juggle many things. How well you are able to multitask and juggle many
things at once will determine in largepart how successful you will be.
3.
You are
never enjoying the moment
Didders will go to a prestigious
event or go travelling or even go to a party and leave without taking any
photos , making any contacts, or recording any videos. A Didder tends to undervalue
the experiences he is having now , because in his overly ambitious mind he
believes he will experience even more exciting things in the future so why
bother indulging in these lesser moments? That is a terrible way of going about
things.
Although there is something to be said about people who,rather than truly
enjoying the moment, are too busy fumbling
for a video camera or snapping away picks to truly experience the event as it is happening, , the opposite extreme is
just as bad. All these technologies and gadgets that enable us to better
capture the moment are here for a reason. Who does not love being able to watch
over and over again clips of themselves having fun or pictures from their
childhood? All these gadgets are here to help us capture our most memorable
moments. It is important for us to realize
how important they are and do our best to keep a record of them.
4.
You have
problems prioritizing things
Didders confuse activity and effort with constructive work. They tend to do
tasks which interest them, but which are of low priority rather than the
important things which will help them advance. Didders will often look back at the days and months and marvel
at how little they have accomplished and how they have no concrete results to
justify how they have spent their time. If this is you , then you are a Didder.
5.
You are very
proud
A Didder’s first reaction to
criticism is the human equivalent of an exotic bird puffing up it’s feathers. They
bristle and feel affronted so that the lessons learnt from their setbacks go
unused.
6.
You are
terrible at mono-tasking
Sounds counter-intuitive but it is true.The problem is that Didders are
often prone to procrastination and they daydream a lot. Give a Didder heaps of
time and in the end you find that they don’t accomplish much. The problem is that
without cut off points and deadlines , a Didder’s complacency and laziness has no consequence.
Furthermore, Didders spend disprorportionate periods of time dreaming about
success rather than working towards achieving that success.
7.
You have a
dislike for starting small:
Didders have big dreams , and
optimistic plans. The problem? They don’t want to start small. They envision themselves
entering the ladder of success somewhere high up when in fact you should think
about starting a few rungs below. It is good to be ambitious but when your
ambitions gets tangled with your pride and stops you from having the humility
you need to start small , pay your dues or
even ask for favours then you have a problem.
Didders want to everything to be perfect when they embark on something.They
want their manuscripts , their songs to
be perfect if they are creatives or they want to wait until they have
sufficient funds in order to start at a certain scale with a business idea.
They want to start of industrially and build factories to market goods rather
than starting at home and selling locally and then scaling up. Or maybe it is
about having enough experience or professional success before they approach someone they have identified as being
able to advance their objectives or having enough qualifications , to apply for
a job , or even better grades before they apply for a university or choose to
transfer schools. Again, chances are there will never be a point They will be
completely satisfied with what they have and what they are doing. So when you
refuse to start small what is happening is that you will be indefinitely
pushing back the moment when you start.
Furthermore, increased scale is not necessarily a guarantee of success. If
anything it just means you are taking a riskier bet in the majority of cases.
Starting small , enables you to test the waters, to develop a feel for what
works , and to adapt quickly your strategy in order to find success. This
is very valuable experience , which you
are missing out on because your pride will not let you ‘stoop’ down to starting
at a scale you find demeaning or launching something before it is absolutely ready.
Many of the great successes in business have come on the back of a company
launching its product , letting it face
critical appraisal by the masses and then adapting its offerings based on the
feedback. Zara’s fast fashion business model is predicated on it’s ability to quickly
put things it’s stores, and then ,based
on consumer purchases and what sells well, determine what Pushto produce more
of , and what items it needs to make
less of. It can turn around its products in response to market changes.
The same is true for most things: a business idea? A story? A novel? A
product? All these things can benefit from being ‘put to the test early’.
Because as smart as you are there are always things you can’t expect. Things
you did not foresee. Or maybe simply things you overlooked because you were so
sure of yourself. By starting small you are able to identify problems early and
adapt in consequence! Hence the importance of interacting with our markets as
soon as possible. You want to be an author? Well then create an online
community publish your works on blogs. You want to be an app developer? Get
your app out there so you can work on it , tweak it , perfect it , and get
customer feedback which you can then use to improve your product. Want to start
a business and have an amazing business
idea? Do market research. interact with your prospective customers and your target market.
10 Customer reviews are worth more
than years of tweaking an idea inside the closed environment of your
mind.Undoubtable you have your biases your considerations which might not
necessarily reflect those of others. Which is why it is important to get the
idea out of your head and test it out. After all It is the only audience that counts.
8.
You have an
exaggerated perception of your skills and competences.
The fact of the matter is we all have slightly exaggerated perceptions of
our skill levels and competencies.
Didders usually moreso than others.In a sense all these feel good media sites
like elitedaily, lifehack and others, feed our supersized egos and strengthen
our stubbornness and make us impervious to criticism.
For Didders this is a real problem. Hence it is important for Didders to get a
sense of where they really are and what their actual skill level is; It is
important they have humility to work their way up from where they are to where
they need to be. Ask their friends for advice , and get outside of your head.
Being a disorganized dreamer is not
the end of the world, but it can breed a complacency which can be damaging to
you and those around you. Recognising the problem is the first step.
Photo Credit: http://1ms.net/day-dreamer-232202.html
